Well hellooooo beautiful!
I don’t really do any shopping for myself anymore but I took a trip to Walgreens just for fun. I ended up getting some Sinful Colors holiday nail polishes (which are my go to nail polish brand now that I can’t justify spending the money on Essie or OPI right now) and one of the new Revlon Perfumerie scented polishes (who can pass that up?!) and lo and behold I found one of the Disney ELF sets on clearance! I didn’t think I’d find these anymore but they had Maleficent and Cruella De Ville and I liked Maleficent better. They had the lash sets in all the villains and some other accessories too but I couldn’t go nuts so I got this. I got this because I haven’t used very many ELF products and I though this would be good for trying a bunch to see if I can replace any of my more expensive items with theirs to save myself money in the future. All in all, I feel spoiled today! Can’t wait to paint my nails too.
A continuation of “trends I am not into”, I give you celebrities I think are overrated:
+ Lana Del Ray
+ Lauren Conrad
+ Blake Lively
+ Channing Tatum
To be continued..
Trends I am not into (but of course do not judge others who are):
+ pointy witch nails
+ contouring like Kim Kardashian
+ BB cream
..to be continued
Today I am mourning the loss of my parents. They’re not dead yet, but their involvement in my life is about the same as if they were.
My dad finally admitted to me today that he has no desire to go to rehab again. He also wouldn’t come and visit me this afternoon because the only way to get him to visit his grandson is in the early morning because he hasn’t started drinking yet. It all feels very final to me now, like just waiting for the end. My uncle FaceTimed be yesterday from Iran and unfortunately although his family knows about his alcoholism, the difference in culture makes his hard for them to understand why I am not able to just “talk to him and try to force him to get better”. It’s very sad because my uncle tells me how if he was here he’d come see August all the time and he doesn’t understand how my dad can live 30 minutes away and never come around.
My mom is another story. She has seen my son once since he was born, when he was 2 weeks old (and that awful visit was a story for another day). She lives 2 hours away and refuses to come down because I won’t let her spend the night in my house anymore because she won’t respect my wishes and my home and insists on chain smoking outside and drinking like a fish all night (that visit at 2 weeks old was a blast). And because she doesn’t want to drive home after drinking, she says she won’t visit until she can save up for a hotel room. She has bothered to contact me and find out how he’s doing so few times I don’t even need a whole hand to count it.
I see lots of women my age who go out and have a lot of fun with their moms. We’re at the age now where moms don’t need to be disciplinarians, they get to be friends and advice givers to their children. But I don’t get that part. I haven’t had a good relationship with my mom since I was 10. So I’ve known or a long time that my mom and I would never have that and I’ve been ok about it. Truthfully I don’t want it with the type of person she’s become. I keep my distance from her because she is toxic in my life. But I see my friends with their mom BFFs and those are the times I get sad. I used to have that with my dad, but that ended about 4 years ago when my dad became a mess. Having him around would have made the hole in my life from my mom much smaller. But now I have this hole that I have to slowly heal, with the love of my son and my husband who are my family now. And I am thankful every single day for them. And I am thankful for my husband’s family, without them, my son would grow up exactly how I did, with no extended family around.
So this thanksgiving, while I mourn the loss of my own parents, I celebrate and am thankful for my new family, who I will never abandon the way my parents have done to me.